End of June

June has been a super busy month for us. I don't even know what we've been doing! I guess we've had a lot of family gatherings, family in town, celebrations, and mini vacations. We celebrated my birthday with dinner + a movie, and David brought me home a few stems of one of my favorite flowers- white hydrangeas. I finally put up the frames I've been collecting for almost a year above our couch. I'm not 100% satisfied with the arrangement yet. We've also been spending a lot of time up the mountain which has been awesome for us, because we're trying to take advantage of our last days alone together. Oh, and David set up the crib! The baby won't have his own room since we're in a one bedroom, so it's just pushed into a little corner for now. It's becoming more real!

June is my favorite month

me on a birthday morning
around age 10.
I loved American Girl
for way too long,

June is my favorite month! It brings back memories of the last days of school and the anticipation of summer. My birthday is at the end of the month and yes, I still get excited for it. Birthdays have always been a big deal in my family and I plan on carrying on the tradition. My parents were the kind that didn't give us presents or things during the year, but they always made birthdays and Christmas very special for us. We'd get breakfast in bed (for me it was usually a doughnut, my fave) and the whole family would sing to you in their pajamas, followed by presents and then fun plans for the day. I didn't have a big party every year, sometimes it was just a family dinner and dessert, but it was always a day where you were important and felt special and extra loved. I completely plan on carrying on very similar traditions. I  like the focus on fun meals (like the privilege of eating in bed which was normally not allowed), a homemade dinner made up of your favorite things and the anticipation of presents I had waited half a year for.
Turning 26 you'd think I'd be over caring about my birthday but I really don't think I'll ever stop loving it. This year's plans include a dinner alone with David on the actual day, seeing Brave (which I have been planning on for a while. I love Disney movies!) and hopefully some kind of yummy birthday cake or ice cream.

Impromptu Fenn Reunion

This past weekend we got the sad news that David's Aunt Sharon who has been battling cancer for over two years wasn't doing well. David's parents were able to fly in from their mission to be with her during her last days. The whole weekend was bittersweet because of the circumstances, but we were so happy to be able to spend time all together as a family. We will miss Sharon and her fun-loving spirit, and we're so glad she was part of our lives.

27 weeks + hopes for the boy

Here we are, nearly 27 weeks into this. The weeks keep flying by. Last week I realized I had 15 weeks left and had a slight panic attack. I don't feel like I'm not prepared- I don't think any amount of diapers or baby clothes could make me feel better. It's just this huge countdown that can't be stopped. We are excited and nervous and anxious for our baby to arrive.
My doctor said everything is measuring normal and that I'm "all baby, " whatever that means. :) She started to talk to me about my birth plan which stressed me out. I feel like I just found out that I'm pregnant, not that I'm creeping closer and closer to delivery. We plan on taking a tour of the hospital and taking a few classes provided by the hospital in the next few months.
Two of my amazing friends have taken on the crazy task of planning my baby shower, and I'm so grateful to them. After moving back to California, I realized I don't have many girlfriends out here anymore, but the ones I do have are wonderful and putting a lot of effort into planning a great celebration. I'm looking forward to the fun time we'll have, even if I hate having people watch me open presents (visions of my bridal shower all over again.)

photo of no longer baby boy + hatless woody by me

As we feel baby move (and kick various organs), we plan the fun things we'll get to show and teach him. I read a wonderful parenting book that I am in love with now, and we've been talking about what we "ideally" plan on implementing with our baby for a schedule, sleeping, eating habits, discipline and so on. Now, I know nothing will probably go exactly how we want it to, but I think there's benefits to talking out what we'd like to do in our home at this point. Plus, I love a good challenge :) Besides the serious stuff, we can't wait to figure out what his first Halloween costume will be, have him with us when we open presents as a family this Christmas, and introduce him to his cousins. You might notice that I've been VERY slack about taking any kind of real pictures of us or anyone else lately. I honestly think I'm preparing for the photo OVERLOAD that will for sure happen once he arrives. He's going to be used to having a camera lens in his face from minute #1.  As for how I'm feeling, my energy level is still low as ever, but I feel good most of the time. My back cramps up easily and I have crazy heartburn, especially in the middle of the night, but I know I've had it easy so I can't complain. I get kicked a lot and it always makes me happy. I miss sleeping on my stomach. A lot.
I get excited thinking about which Disney movies to introduce first and what age to buy his first Saltwater sandals at (my only intended splurge for him). But what I'm really most anticipating is seeing his sweet little face and watching him develop his little personality. I truly hope he gets most of his dad's traits- always happy, fun loving, goofy, never ever moody, creative, always positive and hardworking- because we all know I'm rarely any of those things :)

One of many wish lists for Baby Fenn

1 H&M sweatpants  2 Zara Beach huts swimming trunks  3  Etsy-Viking hooded towel  4 This Mama Makes Stuff "He's all boy" baby cap  5  Zara leather moccasin  6 Etsy- Mustache baby bib

April + May

We are smack in the middle of finals (I say "we" because I am greatly affected by them even if I'm not physically studying + taking them myself), and I'll be glad when this school year is over. I have to say, after hearing all of the horror stories about how hard law school is to get through, especially the first year, I think we both agree that it wasn't all that bad. There's definitely more time apart than we're used to, but I don't feel single again as some people have threatened me with. We'll see how I feel when a baby is thrown into the mix next semester, tho :)
In the past few weeks we've:
-Helped family move (David helped, I watched)
-Had my family over for my mom's birthday dinner
-Spent the morning in Irvine with the big orange balloon
-Eaten yummy Korean bbq
-Visited the pool a few times
-Keith visited for a few days and we took a leisurely drive in his new car
-Blake and Julie visited for a few days and we went to Disneyland + ate good food


I met my SIL Chelsea in Long Beach and took Chloe + Lilah to the aquarium last minute so she could go to Time out for Women. It was a fun morning, but I am so glad I'm only having one baby at a time! The girls are great and well behaved, they just have a lot of energy and I am running on about 30% of my normal energy level. It was fun to see them excited about all the animals.

We're looking forward to summer! We can't wait to spend time in the mountains, our favorite place. We'd like to visit Utah and possibly Arizona this summer, but that will depend on internships/jobs and my willingness to ride in the car for an extended period of time. I'd LOVE to go to Shakespeare this year, but it's about a month before my due date and I think we'd rather not risk it. Next year!

22 Weeks Down

I feel like each week is coming faster and faster. I'm 22 weeks- more than halfway. It freaks me out every time I think about it. I can't even think about the actual delivery or the fact that I will be BRINGING HOME a child at the end of this. It's not real and probably won't be until it actually happens. Along with the surreal-ness there is of course excitement, worry, wonder. At our last appointment where they confirmed he was a boy, the nurse had a hard time letting us hear the heartbeat because he was moving so much. He barely ever holds still during ultrasounds. Here he is arching his head back.

We joke about whether baby boy will have a Fenn chin or a Faught chin.

 As far as how I'm feeling (I'm still not used to people asking me that wherever I go), I am doing really well. I sleep decently well, but for some reason I can't nap during the day anymore. I get heartburn every day but it's nothing that some tums can't fix. I get migraines a few times a week, but it's not the end of the world. And I crave hamburgers almost every day.
We did have a bit of a scare recently. A few weeks ago I got a call about one of my blood tests they had done at the doctors. Apparently I have the mutated gene for cystic fibrosis. It's not a big deal to have one mutated gene- it doesn't mean anything. The only issue is that if David also has a mutated gene, then our child has a 1 in 4 chance of having cystic fibrosis. The doctor told me all of this on the phone while I was out shopping by myself. My head was swimming with questions-- first being, what the heck is cystic fibrosis??
We looked it up on wikipedia when I got home. I did remember the doctor asking us on our first visit what our heritage was, which I thought was odd because no one had ever asked me that before. I told her we were both European descent. Apparently she asked because cystic fibrosis is common among caucasians, specifically those of Jewish descent. So back then I hadn't thought anything of it.
So back to what we were worried about... we figured out that David had about a 1 in 29 chance of having the gene for cystic fibrosis. I started to figure out what would be involved if our child was born with it. I don't think they can figure out if the baby has it until after it's born. It's basically a lung disease and often requires the baby to have surgery soon after its born (I was already crying by the time I read that). They usually have to get a double lung transplant at some point in their short life (expectancy is about 37 years). It seemed like someone with cystic fibrosis can lead a semi-normal life. They have to work at making sure their body is breaking up the mucus built up in their chest and lungs by moving and exercising a lot. Anyway, this is something we both did not want for our child. It broke my heart thinking that this could be something they'd have to deal with.
David had to get a blood test to find out if he was a carrier of the gene. I was thinking it would be at least a week before we got the results, and every hour until we got the call from the doctor my mind was filled with worry. As I've talked to people about cystic fibrosis, I've heard a lot of encouraging stories of families with one child with cystic fibrosis. They were encouraging stories that made me feel a little bit better about the possibility. David and I both knew, however, that if we were both carriers of the gene, this baby would be our only biological child, whether or not he had the diseas. People we have talked to have not felt the same way if they were in the same situation. They have felt like it was worth taking the chance multiple times, and that the outcome would be fine either way. Choosing to have children is a big deal, and there are always risks, but for our family, we both agreed that this risk wasn't something we were willing to take with more than one pregnancy if David was a carrier.
When it comes down to it, none of this even matters, because we did get the phone call 3 days later that David was NOT a carrier, so our child has no chance of having cystic fibrosis. However, since I am a carrier of the gene, our baby could possibly be a carrier. It also means that one of my parents is a carrier, so some of my siblings could also be. I've brought it up to them about getting tested before they get married (or even sooner). In a relationship, something like this can be a HUGE deal. I think it's good to know before you decide to have children...something I wish was brought up to us or we were made more aware of. That's mostly why I'm writing this much information down. I don't think they used to test for this disease at all. I just want everyone to be informed for their own sake and sanity...because I almost lost my mind waiting to find out.
We are happy this little bump in the road is over with. I'm sure there will be plenty more as time goes on. For now we are enjoying all of the kicks that both of us get to feel :) I think this baby boy is going to be hyper just like his dad.

Halfway There

We both can't believe we're already halfway there. I can't believe how much pregnancy affects every aspect of my life. I knew it wasn't going to be the easiest thing in the world, but I find myself having headaches every day, my back hurts, and stretch marks are already stressing me out. Little kicks make me feel better, tho.

 Baby bump (it looks bigger from above)

 We shop in the clearance section of every store.

 Farrell's ice cream

My attempt at being healthy with a smoothie.

sun, sun, sun

When I was little, I was really afraid of ET. I swore he would come out from under my bed and be staring at me. I have no idea why I was afraid of him- I'd never seen the movie and he wasn't a mean alien. I'd lay in bed, as still as I could until I fell back asleep. Or, if I was beyond scared, I'd brave sneaking to my parents room. They never let us sleep with them, and I didn't want to wake them up because they'd just send me back to my bed, so I'd lay on the ground and army crawl to my dad's side of the bed (the floor was creaky if I walked, and my Mom would be more mad at me waking her up than my Dad). I'd usually make a bed on the floor and fall asleep. Once the sun rose, I knew it was safe to go back to my own bed.


Even now I'm still more comfortable when the sun is shining. At night, my thoughts go crazy. If I'm home alone, I sleep with the light on. I get up early in the morning for work, and a lot of times my thoughts are irrational. Brain takes over, things are blown out of proportion. If something is weighing on my mind, it's a thousand times worse at 3AM. Not surprisingly, my favorite time of day is sun rise. It's the beginning of everything good and the end of something dark and unknown. I am still like a little kid in a lot of ways, and this one probably won't ever change. But it's okay.

"Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise." -Victor Hugo

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Time is flying

It's already April! The weeks are coming faster and faster now. I'm officially 18 weeks now, and I finally feel like I actually look pregnant. Yay! We are getting more and more excited to welcome baby into our family. This past weekend we cleaned off the crib we'll be using. It's the crib me and all of my siblings slept in. I'm so happy my parents saved it! I love old things, and especially ones with sentimental value.

Last weekend we got to welcome my little brother home from his mission. And when I say little, I mean younger. I am definitely the shortest person in my family now, even tho I'm the oldest sibling. Funny how that worked out :) We are so happy he's home and so proud of all of the amazing service he did for the people of Nicaragua. His accent is funny, and he's really tan, but he's still the same goofy boy he was.

We decided when we found out we were pregnant that we would wait until Kyle got home to tell him we were pregnant. I started to get worried as the weeks got closer and I wasn't showing as much as I thought I would have been. The true test came when he hugged me and looked down at my belly and said, "What's that?" Relief! I said, "Your nephew." It was a little much to take in right then, but he is really excited just like the rest of my family. Yay!