27 weeks + hopes for the boy

Here we are, nearly 27 weeks into this. The weeks keep flying by. Last week I realized I had 15 weeks left and had a slight panic attack. I don't feel like I'm not prepared- I don't think any amount of diapers or baby clothes could make me feel better. It's just this huge countdown that can't be stopped. We are excited and nervous and anxious for our baby to arrive.
My doctor said everything is measuring normal and that I'm "all baby, " whatever that means. :) She started to talk to me about my birth plan which stressed me out. I feel like I just found out that I'm pregnant, not that I'm creeping closer and closer to delivery. We plan on taking a tour of the hospital and taking a few classes provided by the hospital in the next few months.
Two of my amazing friends have taken on the crazy task of planning my baby shower, and I'm so grateful to them. After moving back to California, I realized I don't have many girlfriends out here anymore, but the ones I do have are wonderful and putting a lot of effort into planning a great celebration. I'm looking forward to the fun time we'll have, even if I hate having people watch me open presents (visions of my bridal shower all over again.)

photo of no longer baby boy + hatless woody by me

As we feel baby move (and kick various organs), we plan the fun things we'll get to show and teach him. I read a wonderful parenting book that I am in love with now, and we've been talking about what we "ideally" plan on implementing with our baby for a schedule, sleeping, eating habits, discipline and so on. Now, I know nothing will probably go exactly how we want it to, but I think there's benefits to talking out what we'd like to do in our home at this point. Plus, I love a good challenge :) Besides the serious stuff, we can't wait to figure out what his first Halloween costume will be, have him with us when we open presents as a family this Christmas, and introduce him to his cousins. You might notice that I've been VERY slack about taking any kind of real pictures of us or anyone else lately. I honestly think I'm preparing for the photo OVERLOAD that will for sure happen once he arrives. He's going to be used to having a camera lens in his face from minute #1.  As for how I'm feeling, my energy level is still low as ever, but I feel good most of the time. My back cramps up easily and I have crazy heartburn, especially in the middle of the night, but I know I've had it easy so I can't complain. I get kicked a lot and it always makes me happy. I miss sleeping on my stomach. A lot.
I get excited thinking about which Disney movies to introduce first and what age to buy his first Saltwater sandals at (my only intended splurge for him). But what I'm really most anticipating is seeing his sweet little face and watching him develop his little personality. I truly hope he gets most of his dad's traits- always happy, fun loving, goofy, never ever moody, creative, always positive and hardworking- because we all know I'm rarely any of those things :)

One of many wish lists for Baby Fenn

1 H&M sweatpants  2 Zara Beach huts swimming trunks  3  Etsy-Viking hooded towel  4 This Mama Makes Stuff "He's all boy" baby cap  5  Zara leather moccasin  6 Etsy- Mustache baby bib

April + May

We are smack in the middle of finals (I say "we" because I am greatly affected by them even if I'm not physically studying + taking them myself), and I'll be glad when this school year is over. I have to say, after hearing all of the horror stories about how hard law school is to get through, especially the first year, I think we both agree that it wasn't all that bad. There's definitely more time apart than we're used to, but I don't feel single again as some people have threatened me with. We'll see how I feel when a baby is thrown into the mix next semester, tho :)
In the past few weeks we've:
-Helped family move (David helped, I watched)
-Had my family over for my mom's birthday dinner
-Spent the morning in Irvine with the big orange balloon
-Eaten yummy Korean bbq
-Visited the pool a few times
-Keith visited for a few days and we took a leisurely drive in his new car
-Blake and Julie visited for a few days and we went to Disneyland + ate good food


I met my SIL Chelsea in Long Beach and took Chloe + Lilah to the aquarium last minute so she could go to Time out for Women. It was a fun morning, but I am so glad I'm only having one baby at a time! The girls are great and well behaved, they just have a lot of energy and I am running on about 30% of my normal energy level. It was fun to see them excited about all the animals.

We're looking forward to summer! We can't wait to spend time in the mountains, our favorite place. We'd like to visit Utah and possibly Arizona this summer, but that will depend on internships/jobs and my willingness to ride in the car for an extended period of time. I'd LOVE to go to Shakespeare this year, but it's about a month before my due date and I think we'd rather not risk it. Next year!

22 Weeks Down

I feel like each week is coming faster and faster. I'm 22 weeks- more than halfway. It freaks me out every time I think about it. I can't even think about the actual delivery or the fact that I will be BRINGING HOME a child at the end of this. It's not real and probably won't be until it actually happens. Along with the surreal-ness there is of course excitement, worry, wonder. At our last appointment where they confirmed he was a boy, the nurse had a hard time letting us hear the heartbeat because he was moving so much. He barely ever holds still during ultrasounds. Here he is arching his head back.

We joke about whether baby boy will have a Fenn chin or a Faught chin.

 As far as how I'm feeling (I'm still not used to people asking me that wherever I go), I am doing really well. I sleep decently well, but for some reason I can't nap during the day anymore. I get heartburn every day but it's nothing that some tums can't fix. I get migraines a few times a week, but it's not the end of the world. And I crave hamburgers almost every day.
We did have a bit of a scare recently. A few weeks ago I got a call about one of my blood tests they had done at the doctors. Apparently I have the mutated gene for cystic fibrosis. It's not a big deal to have one mutated gene- it doesn't mean anything. The only issue is that if David also has a mutated gene, then our child has a 1 in 4 chance of having cystic fibrosis. The doctor told me all of this on the phone while I was out shopping by myself. My head was swimming with questions-- first being, what the heck is cystic fibrosis??
We looked it up on wikipedia when I got home. I did remember the doctor asking us on our first visit what our heritage was, which I thought was odd because no one had ever asked me that before. I told her we were both European descent. Apparently she asked because cystic fibrosis is common among caucasians, specifically those of Jewish descent. So back then I hadn't thought anything of it.
So back to what we were worried about... we figured out that David had about a 1 in 29 chance of having the gene for cystic fibrosis. I started to figure out what would be involved if our child was born with it. I don't think they can figure out if the baby has it until after it's born. It's basically a lung disease and often requires the baby to have surgery soon after its born (I was already crying by the time I read that). They usually have to get a double lung transplant at some point in their short life (expectancy is about 37 years). It seemed like someone with cystic fibrosis can lead a semi-normal life. They have to work at making sure their body is breaking up the mucus built up in their chest and lungs by moving and exercising a lot. Anyway, this is something we both did not want for our child. It broke my heart thinking that this could be something they'd have to deal with.
David had to get a blood test to find out if he was a carrier of the gene. I was thinking it would be at least a week before we got the results, and every hour until we got the call from the doctor my mind was filled with worry. As I've talked to people about cystic fibrosis, I've heard a lot of encouraging stories of families with one child with cystic fibrosis. They were encouraging stories that made me feel a little bit better about the possibility. David and I both knew, however, that if we were both carriers of the gene, this baby would be our only biological child, whether or not he had the diseas. People we have talked to have not felt the same way if they were in the same situation. They have felt like it was worth taking the chance multiple times, and that the outcome would be fine either way. Choosing to have children is a big deal, and there are always risks, but for our family, we both agreed that this risk wasn't something we were willing to take with more than one pregnancy if David was a carrier.
When it comes down to it, none of this even matters, because we did get the phone call 3 days later that David was NOT a carrier, so our child has no chance of having cystic fibrosis. However, since I am a carrier of the gene, our baby could possibly be a carrier. It also means that one of my parents is a carrier, so some of my siblings could also be. I've brought it up to them about getting tested before they get married (or even sooner). In a relationship, something like this can be a HUGE deal. I think it's good to know before you decide to have children...something I wish was brought up to us or we were made more aware of. That's mostly why I'm writing this much information down. I don't think they used to test for this disease at all. I just want everyone to be informed for their own sake and sanity...because I almost lost my mind waiting to find out.
We are happy this little bump in the road is over with. I'm sure there will be plenty more as time goes on. For now we are enjoying all of the kicks that both of us get to feel :) I think this baby boy is going to be hyper just like his dad.

Halfway There

We both can't believe we're already halfway there. I can't believe how much pregnancy affects every aspect of my life. I knew it wasn't going to be the easiest thing in the world, but I find myself having headaches every day, my back hurts, and stretch marks are already stressing me out. Little kicks make me feel better, tho.

 Baby bump (it looks bigger from above)

 We shop in the clearance section of every store.

 Farrell's ice cream

My attempt at being healthy with a smoothie.

sun, sun, sun

When I was little, I was really afraid of ET. I swore he would come out from under my bed and be staring at me. I have no idea why I was afraid of him- I'd never seen the movie and he wasn't a mean alien. I'd lay in bed, as still as I could until I fell back asleep. Or, if I was beyond scared, I'd brave sneaking to my parents room. They never let us sleep with them, and I didn't want to wake them up because they'd just send me back to my bed, so I'd lay on the ground and army crawl to my dad's side of the bed (the floor was creaky if I walked, and my Mom would be more mad at me waking her up than my Dad). I'd usually make a bed on the floor and fall asleep. Once the sun rose, I knew it was safe to go back to my own bed.


Even now I'm still more comfortable when the sun is shining. At night, my thoughts go crazy. If I'm home alone, I sleep with the light on. I get up early in the morning for work, and a lot of times my thoughts are irrational. Brain takes over, things are blown out of proportion. If something is weighing on my mind, it's a thousand times worse at 3AM. Not surprisingly, my favorite time of day is sun rise. It's the beginning of everything good and the end of something dark and unknown. I am still like a little kid in a lot of ways, and this one probably won't ever change. But it's okay.

"Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise." -Victor Hugo

Source: Uploaded by user via Thao on Pinterest

Time is flying

It's already April! The weeks are coming faster and faster now. I'm officially 18 weeks now, and I finally feel like I actually look pregnant. Yay! We are getting more and more excited to welcome baby into our family. This past weekend we cleaned off the crib we'll be using. It's the crib me and all of my siblings slept in. I'm so happy my parents saved it! I love old things, and especially ones with sentimental value.

Last weekend we got to welcome my little brother home from his mission. And when I say little, I mean younger. I am definitely the shortest person in my family now, even tho I'm the oldest sibling. Funny how that worked out :) We are so happy he's home and so proud of all of the amazing service he did for the people of Nicaragua. His accent is funny, and he's really tan, but he's still the same goofy boy he was.

We decided when we found out we were pregnant that we would wait until Kyle got home to tell him we were pregnant. I started to get worried as the weeks got closer and I wasn't showing as much as I thought I would have been. The true test came when he hugged me and looked down at my belly and said, "What's that?" Relief! I said, "Your nephew." It was a little much to take in right then, but he is really excited just like the rest of my family. Yay!

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...

Beautiful BOY. That's right, we're having a boy. On a whim on Monday night we decided to try to find out what the sex of our baby was. I'm 16ish weeks (my doctor thinks I'm a little further along, or at least I'm measuring that way) and we heard about a place down by the beach that can determine what the baby is around this stage. Within about 2 minutes, the technician was telling us there was a reason we couldn't decide on any girl names...we were pregnant with a little boy. The funny thing is since the first ultrasound, whenever I looked at it, I thought it looked like a boy. Don't ask me why...it's not like you can really tell. I was still surprised, because most of my life I just assumed I'd have a girl first. Maybe I thought that way because that's how my family is; I'm the oldest.

We didn't care either way what the baby would be. We have 4 (and a half) amazing nieces that we adore. My friends have very cute little boys that I love. And I think it is the coolest thing in the world that we don't get to pick what the baby is...it's just this amazing surprise.
So I'm getting used to saying "he" and the thought of raising a boy child. David keeps coming to random realizations, and it's the cutest thing ever. Last night on the couch he realized, "Father and son! I get to take him camping!" So. Cute.
This is a really special time in our lives and I hope we never, ever forget it.
What I want to know from YOU is...did you have a boy first? or second? or at all? Was it hard to raise a boy? If you have both a girl and a boy, are they different? I am kind of nervous because it's foreign to me!

  
baby boy photo by me

Marie

Source: flickr.com via Heather on Pinterest

You know I love movies set in times long ago. One of my faves is Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette. I remember seeing the trailer for it before it came out, and it was set to New Order's "Age of Consent" and I couldn't stop watching it. Kings + Queens + fancy dresses and shoes + a soundtrack filled with 80's music and Vivaldi...what a combination. Have you seen it? Do you like it? I own it and watch it every year. Plus Versailles was amazingly gorgeous blew my mind when I visited it and saw where she really lived. It's beyond ridiculous.

Source: Uploaded by user via Emma on Pinterest

Beds + Things

I am on the hunt for some new bedding. Mostly just a new duvet or comforter. We have used a down and duvet cover since we got married, but I'm realizing now that we've always lived in a mountain climate and it's just too hot for southern california non-mountain weather. What do people use? I'm at a loss.

Source: homelife.com.au via Natalie on Pinterest

David finished his first round of midterms and starts his 'kind of' Spring break this week. I'm glad he worked so hard and can have a little bit of time to himself! We are going to celebrate the break with Disneyland and family time.
In other news, my dog died. Not Clementine, but my family dog we've had for 12 years. She was getting old and could barely walk. She was the best dog, ever. So happy. It's really hard for me to talk about. I miss you, Sunny!
On a happier note, our babe is the size of a large peach now! That would explain why I look like I ate an extra large pizza. My clothes are getting tighter (as in none of my church skirts fit me) and I'm really struggling with feeling like I look good. This in between stage is just like growing out your hair...nothing looks right.
Thank you everyone for your kind words. We are overwhelmed with excitement and gratitude for everyone's support and love. We can't wait to bring our baby into such an amazing, happy circle of family + friends.